Halloween Humor

Halloween Jokes: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have any guts. What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap. What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine? A wash-and-wear wolf. What's the first thing ghosts do when they get in the car? They boo-kle their seatbelts. How did the ghost patch his sheet? With a pumpkin patch. What do witches use on their hair? Scare Spray. What do the bird's sing on Halloween? Twick or Tweet.

Could it be that those trick-or-treaters wearing

sheets, aren't going as ghosts but as MATTRESSES?

****George Carlin****

Top 10 signs you are too old for trick-or-treating:

10. You get winded from knocking on the door. 9. You have to have someone else chew your candy. 8. You ask for high fiber candy ONLY. 7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you loose your balance and fall over. 6. People say,"Great Keith Richard's mask!" and your not wearing a mask. 5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or...." and you can't remember the rest. 4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of retraining orders. 3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece. 2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker. Drumroll please..... The number 1 reason: You avoid going to the houses of your ex-wives. One more day until the GREAT PUMPKIN arrives. I hope everyone has their treats to hand out and their costumes ready. We still have some tweaking on both ends BUT we WILL be ready for ALL those Trick- or -Treaters that arrive tomorrow night! ~Keep on Dreaming~